A friend of mine has been tossing around this idea to join the military for several weeks. Considering he’s 26, stuck at home with his mom, and working as a hotel desk clerk (with a Bachelors degree), I thought the military was a great idea. About a month ago I pointed out he could make a lot more money if he was married, and suggested he marry his girlfriend. He explained why that was a bad idea and how he didn’t think they were going to be together much longer anyway.
On Thanksgiving evening we had a chance to do some catching up, and he told me that he had talked to a recruiter on Monday. He told me the good news and the bad news, and I encouraged him to not give up his idea. He said I was right about him making more money if he was married, and then he suggested that I marry him. I truly thought he was joking, so I said “Sure, lets do it!” Then he started explaining why it was a good idea.
He’ll get more money by enlisting as married. I, as his wife, would get a housing allowance, free healthcare, and access to the military base near my home. He also mentioned being able to transfer his GI bill to me, but there was some confusion about that, and he’d have to stay in the military at least six years for that (and I was imagining this little “arrangement” to last for just a couple of years.)
Gosh, as I’m typing this, I’m imagining how pissed off I would be if I was a military wife reading this. I was a military wife once. I totally respect it. I don’t mean any disrespect, it was an idea that started as a joke, and probably will turn into a joke, but was tossed around as an idea for a while.
Anyway, I was talking with Edgar tonight, and since things between us have been so “friendly” and “buddyish” lately (like him telling me about going on a date etc..) I thought it would be ok to tell him about this idea. I was wrong. He got all offended and started on how it must be a cultural thing and that Americans think low of marriage. I did try to defend my country..men, but it was hard for me to swallow that I, personally, think low of marriage, so I just let him think as he wanted.
I’m not sure what the truth is. I don’t really think low of marriage. When I used to imagine marrying him, I never thought bad of it. Marrying for a mutually beneficial arrangement doesn’t seem like a terrible idea. People marry people for green cards and other reasons all the time, right?
you cant marry a guy you dont love
…I can’t marry the one I do, either.
Anyway, before anybody starts feeling the need to lecture me, don’t worry about it. I can’t marry this guy and have a clear conscience. It’s not like you can be married to someone for a couple of years and just shake hands and walk away. There’s much more serious matters to think about. Like…how our credit would be mixed up together, and how if something happened to him…I’d have it on my conscience that the whole thing was a sham. It all seems so ugly when I think about it very deeply.
But free healthcare…man.