Just keep this to yourself.

November 24, 2009

Changes, they change things.

Filed under: miscellaneous — jktty @ 12:20 am

Last week my boss gave everyone a memo letting us know that our insurance provider would be changing effective 01 January. Since we’ve had the same insurance for quite some time, of course there was a bit of panic, so stapled with the memo was a list of things that will stay the same, and a list of things that will change.

On the list of things that will change were two very important things.

1. My company has decided that our mental health and well-being is important enough to be covered by insurance. Not only will antidepressants be covered, but if I want to talk to a headshrink, the insurance is cool with that. I think that’s amazing. Terrifying, but amazing.

2. Our new insurance will pay for weight loss surgery. I could lump that in with mental health issues, but I won’t, but omg. It’s sad for me to think that I can’t lose weight the way most people do, and that having a weight loss surgery is “cheating a bit.” But when I really start thinking about the surgery, recovery, and side effects, I don’t feel like I’m taking the “easy way” out.

I’ve gotten myself psyched up on before and after videos of people who have lost astonishing amounts of weight. I haven’t bothered to look for the negative stories. I know they’re out there, and I want to be open-minded and fair, so when I visit my dad over the holiday, maybe I’ll discuss it with him and we can look some of those things up together.

Maybe I’ve just got the fall blues, but I’ve been feeling like such a fatty lately. I look in the mirror and I don’t like anything I see. My skin looks blotchy, my hair is frizzy, my eyes are dull, and wow I sound like Debbie Downer. Seriously though, I’ve been experiencing quite a bit of self-hatred for the past few weeks. I’ve been trying to stay busy, because I seem to do better when I’m distracted, but quiet evenings at home bring it all to the surface.

I’ll just hope that visiting my dad will rejuvenate my spirit and ease my mind a bit.

C’mon Thursday….



  1. My darling, I do not believe you are overweight enough to get weight loss surgery. Most people who get it are over 100lbs overweight. With that said, I want it. =P Yeah, I know. I just need to ‘diet and exercise’. How do I do that exactly? We could be like surgery skinny buddies! Lotsa love! ❤

    Comment by Schmoo — November 24, 2009 @ 8:03 pm | Reply

  2. Yea, I don’t think you’re overweight enough to get it either.. it’s like, a last resort kinda thing, in my mind. I wouldn’t consider it cause I’m just like, 90 lbs overweight. But eh, if your insurance will cover it! Then Edgar will be the fat one, Lol.

    Also, screw the “diet” part. In that I have no need to change my eating habits. I’ll keep my current diet, not get rid of it altogether xD Just need to exercise. Yay winter!

    Comment by Celia — November 24, 2009 @ 10:14 pm | Reply

  3. It is a “last resort” thing, and I’m still not sure I’ll do it. It’s just that when we got the memo that the insurance was changing, I got really excited. I’ve got a lot of thinking to do, because even with a “reversible surgery” (like LapBand) it’s not really something that can be taken lightly. So…don’t start lecturing me yet. ❤

    Comment by jktty — November 25, 2009 @ 6:26 pm | Reply

  4. Easy way out? I consider that akin to saying a c-section is the easy way out. At the end of the day, you have a baby. You might not want to go through surgery to do it, but sometimes you have to.

    How much excess weight do you have to have for something like that?

    And WOOHOO for the mental health coverage!! That’s what I call serious progress in our country.

    Comment by pantrypuff — November 26, 2009 @ 2:16 pm | Reply

  5. You’ve got to be 100 pounds overweight, or have a BMI of 40 or over. OR, you can have a BMI of less than 40, if you have other ‘comorbidities”. I’ve got high blood pressure, so I can have a little bit of a lower BMI. Considering the ideal weight for my height is somewhere between 119 and 149 lbs, I’ve got the overweight bit just about covered. I’ve just about got my mind made up, but there’s so much more to it than “wanting” it, so I’m not going to get my heart or mind set on it. Yet.

    Comment by jktty — November 28, 2009 @ 12:38 am | Reply

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