Last week my boss gave everyone a memo letting us know that our insurance provider would be changing effective 01 January. Since we’ve had the same insurance for quite some time, of course there was a bit of panic, so stapled with the memo was a list of things that will stay the same, and a list of things that will change.
On the list of things that will change were two very important things.
1. My company has decided that our mental health and well-being is important enough to be covered by insurance. Not only will antidepressants be covered, but if I want to talk to a headshrink, the insurance is cool with that. I think that’s amazing. Terrifying, but amazing.
2. Our new insurance will pay for weight loss surgery. I could lump that in with mental health issues, but I won’t, but omg. It’s sad for me to think that I can’t lose weight the way most people do, and that having a weight loss surgery is “cheating a bit.” But when I really start thinking about the surgery, recovery, and side effects, I don’t feel like I’m taking the “easy way” out.
I’ve gotten myself psyched up on before and after videos of people who have lost astonishing amounts of weight. I haven’t bothered to look for the negative stories. I know they’re out there, and I want to be open-minded and fair, so when I visit my dad over the holiday, maybe I’ll discuss it with him and we can look some of those things up together.
Maybe I’ve just got the fall blues, but I’ve been feeling like such a fatty lately. I look in the mirror and I don’t like anything I see. My skin looks blotchy, my hair is frizzy, my eyes are dull, and wow I sound like Debbie Downer. Seriously though, I’ve been experiencing quite a bit of self-hatred for the past few weeks. I’ve been trying to stay busy, because I seem to do better when I’m distracted, but quiet evenings at home bring it all to the surface.
I’ll just hope that visiting my dad will rejuvenate my spirit and ease my mind a bit.