Just keep this to yourself.

October 4, 2009

Time flies

Filed under: miscellaneous — jktty @ 11:22 pm

It’s been a little over two months since my last post. I’ve been feeling a little guilty for abandoning my blog, but on the other hand I’ve felt like I’ve had too much going on to stop and write about it. I won’t try to write a blow-by-blow catch-up post here, but for myself I’d like to cover a few things.

My grades for the summer classes were a little unexpected. An A in English, and a B in Sociology. After classes were finished, I really wanted to go on Ratemyprofessor.com and rant about my Soc prof. but then I realized my problem with him was more of a personal one than his ability to teach. I left it alone, and I’m sure he’s busy terrorizing another group of students.

My last post here was about my stepmother ODing, and as horrible as it might sound, I wish it had been as simple as an overdose. Unfortunately, there has been some deeper mental issues going on and she’s been hospitalized at least three times since the end of July. Now that we’ve moved into October, the doctors feel that they have her condition fairly well controlled by medication, and she is starting to behave more like herself.

When my stepmom was at her worst, my dad asked me several times if I would move to live with him. The pressure he put on me to drop everything here and move to Texas was unbelievable. I know that most of it was because he was feeling overwhelmed and he needed to have someone to share it with, but it was, unfortunately, bad timing. I know that might sound horrible, but, honestly, the whole thing went down about 2 weeks too late. By the time my dad asked me to move there, I had already started my school loans, gotten my first disbursement, enrolled in classes, and spent half the money.

Fortunately, she does seem to be doing better. The pressure from my dad is off, and my family has stopped reminding me about it.

School is going fairly well. I’m taking US Federal Government, and Nutrition. The Gov’t class is a lot easier than I expected it to be. The hardest part so far has just been staying awake. The class is 5 hours long every Wednesday night. The nutrition class was supposed to be an “easier” Biology class. I’ll be lucky to pass.

My exes cat, Bits, that came to live with me early this year died about 3 weeks ago. It was unexpected, shocking, and heartbreaking. I don’t handle death well, and I had to deal with this on my own because the ex was out of town. When I finally disposed of her body, I got into my bed and cried myself to sleep and slept for about 14 hours. Now I feel super-protective of Bug, my other cat, and I’m constantly worried I’ll find her dead too.

I’ve debated on whether or not I’d write about Edgar in this post, but…in my life or out of it, he’s in my head so often. There was a really bad typhoon where he lives, a little over a week ago. I tried not to care, but every time I saw his city mentioned in an article about it, I’d wonder if he was okay. Then mutual acquaintances started asking if I had heard from him. I tried to joke about it, that he’s fine because rats can swim, that you can’t kill a cockroach, that shit floats etc… but then I’d see pictures on the news and any jokes or humor would go right out the window and then I’d worry anyway.

I wrote him a short email asking if he was okay, told myself it meant nothing and that I didn’t care if he replied or not. In the grand scheme of things, his response means nothing except “yes, I’m alive” and I really shouldn’t care, but if I’m to be honest, I have to say I’m glad he’s alive to lie another day. I still miss him sometimes, and I know that seems stupid and foolish, but its fact.

I’ve already said more than I wanted to say, and written more than I planned to so I’ll wrap this up. I’ll try¬† not to let another two months pass before writing again.

1 Comment »

  1. Good to hear YOU’RE alive!

    Comment by pantrypuff — October 5, 2009 @ 8:55 am | Reply


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