It’s too early.

I’m awake at 2:00 a.m. and, believe it or not, it’s not because I was up all night. When I got home from work at 6:00 last night, the electricity was out on my entire block. I figured we wouldn’t have power for quite some time, so I got in my comfy clothes and decided to take a “nap.” Can you call 7 hours sleep a nap? Anyway, since I can’t seem to go back to sleep, I thought I’d empty my head out a bit, and maybe I could sleep a bit more afterwards.

Last Friday the F-Tard finally agreed to let me have his cat. He sent me off with threats about what he would do if I didn’t take care of her, and I assured him that she would be fine. I was pretty nervous about how she and my Bug would get along, but I shouldn’t have worried. They have been apart for almost two years, but it only took about an hour together for them to realize that they know each other, and it’s been pretty peachy since. I’m so happy to have my girls back together!

I suppose the only downside to me taking Bits is that now the F-Tard has an excuse to call me. Fortunately, he’s fairly wrapped up with his new girlfriend Horseface, so I’ve not had to deal with him. I shouldn’t be mean, she seems like a nice girl, but I really liked Teresa and I think she’s been dished out a pretty shitty breakup. Meh, it’s not my business.

There is a positive side to Teresa being gone, though, and that is now I can go by the house to see Charlotte without Teresa worrying I’m trying to see the F-Tard. It also means that nosy neighbors who like to spread gossip can’t try to make something of nothing. So, yeah, Charlotte and I had a pretty nasty fight when the F-Tard and I broke up…but that woman has been like a mother to me for nine years, and who doesn’t have fights with their momma? She’s (almost always) been a good friend to me, she’s a great dinner companion, and…she’s got a huge collection of romance novels written by some of my favorite authors. Yay for Relationship Propaganda!

Speaking of relationships, Edgar and I are still together. I say “still” because this is the longest we’ve actually been together in all our make-up-to-break-ups. I keep waiting for the moment I can relax and stop holding my breath, but I still worry he’s going to  bolt on me again. Not helping matters is that he’s human, and flawed, and makes mistakes that make me want to choke him. Or cry. Or cry and then choke him.

He kissed someone. It was an “accident”…and I wouldn’t let him explain so I’m not sure how you can “accidentally” kiss someone, but I didn’t want to know. I already had pictures in my mind of him with his lips on someone else’s…and all the other things that go along with kissing…and I just didn’t want any more of a mind picture. To his credit, he’s so freakin’ honest that he told me he did it. Seriously though, why couldn’t he have been like other men and just kept this indiscretion to himself?

When a man (or woman, I guess) makes a stupid mistake like that, they should just accept their guilt as punishment. Every time the moment comes to mind, they should suffer the momentary guilt of a) committing the act and b) not being able to tell it. The thing is, by telling me he did it, he’s also torturing ME, and I can guarantee you that I’m going to think about it a million times more than he will! These lapses in judgement can be swiftly forgotten by the blockheads who commit them, but for a woman like me…it’s almost impossible to forget.

It’s a good thing that I love him, that I know he’s not perfect, and that I’m well versed in the rotten things men can do in moments of…weakness or thoughtlessness. By the way, I know that for some women, a kiss with someone else would be a dealbreaker…and I don’t really feel like explaining why it isn’t for me, but I’ll give a very brief explanation.

This relationship has been off and on for a year, online only. We’ve never met face to face, hugged, kissed, or made love. He’s given me his heart, but I’ve not yet had the privilege of taking possession of the rest of him. So while I do feel that he is all mine, I also know that long distance relationships are a bitch, that he’s human (and a man), and that (it seems) he is genuinely sorry for screwing up. Would I be so forgiving if it happened again? Doubtful. If it happened again with the same person? No, definitely not.

I’ve rambled on about it long enough, and it’s almost 3:00. The world is a big place, and there’s a million other things that are a million times worse than this.

There were tornadoes in Oklahoma last night, and several people died in Lone Grove, which is about 100 miles south of OKC. There were also injuries in cities north of OKC. Looking at replays of the weather radar while the storms moved through, it seems that Oklahoma City was extremely lucky. I’m glad I didn’t have electricity, because it kept me uninformed about the severity of the situation. I don’t like to be scared by the weather. It is scary, however, that these storms are starting so early. I really hope it’s not an indicator of how this tornado season is going to be.

Anyway, I’d like to try and sleep a bit before the sun comes up. Happy Humpday.