Rushed ramblings.

I’m going to try to make this a quick update because I need to sleep. Actually, I should have slept hours ago, but when I got in bed, I couldn’t be still and I couldn’t stop my racing thoughts. Now, it’s after 2 a.m. and I’m still not tired, but I know that 6 a.m comes early.

My sleep schedule got messed up over the long holiday weekend. I’d like to blame it on Edgar, but I think I might have found reasons to stay up all night even without his company. I did manage to get a decent amount of sleep on Sunday night, so that when I went back to work on Monday, I wasn’t overly tired. I think I must have really set my circadian rhythms on a bad track though, because I started getting sleepy about noon, and squeezed a 30 minute nap into my hourlong lunch.

I mentioned in my last post that the f-tards girlfriend was going out of town for the holidays. She won’t be back for several weeks, but honestly, tomorrow wouldn’t be soon enough. He called me at work three times today. Suddenly, now that she’s not around, he’s acting as if we’re best friends again. The first time he called was to ask me…if I called him. (Riiight.) The second time he called was to ask a question about my truck. (My brakes are apparently going out, and I mentioned it in our frst conversation.) The last time he called was just before I left work, and he called to ask what we were having for dinner.

Has this man lost his mind?  Honestly, has he forgotten that he treated me like shit, cheated on me, pushed me around, and slapped me? Must I remind him that he has a girlfriend?

I told him that I wasn’t sure what he was having for dinner, but that I was having leftover gumbo. He asked what time he should come, and I asked him what, exactly, I had said to make him think he was invited. He took the hint. I swear though, if he calls me again tomorrow, I’m just going to bluntly tell him that I’m not going to be his piece on the side. If he persists, I’ll threaten to call his girlfriend. Seriously, why are men so stupid sometimes?

My surgeons office called today to set up my pre-op visit for next week. I looked at the calendar and realized that my surgery is in just a little over two weeks. I’m not worried yet, but I did feel the first tinglings of apprehension after I got off the phone with them. I can’t believe I’m electing to have a surgery that is going to put me in a lot of pain for a considerable length of time! Yes, I know there is something good that will come out of it, and I feel that I’m doing the right thing…but ugh. Pain. Pain is not my friend. Yeah, I’ll be tough an I’ll be brave and there won’t be a soul in the world who will know the true extent of my misery…because I don’t want to be a crybaby…but…did I mention that I don’t like pain?

Other than getting rid of the fibroid, something else good is going to come out of this surgery. I decided to buy a laptop. I’ve been putting it off for ages, but I know I’m going to go stir crazy while I’m cooped up in bed recovering, and I’m not going to compromise my recovery by sitting at the desktop. I can’t decide what to buy, I feel so uneducated about laptops. Suggestions anyone?

I’m too tired to write about it tonight, but tomorrow I’ll update my dream blog with the latest bit of strangeness from my nighttime mental meanderings. This one included Edgar, a bathtub, a baby, and a cat. So very strange.

Happy Monday-turning Tuesday everyone.