My consult with the surgeon was frightening but informative. She answered a lot of questions that have been rattling around in my head for a while, and while I’m still nervous…I feel a little more confident that I’ll be okay after the surgery.
My surgery is scheduled for December 17th. I’ll be home and off work until January 5th. She said I could go back sooner if I wanted, or stay home for a full six weeks if I wanted…that it’s completely up to me and how I feel. We talked about the surgery itself and how she has done it as a day procedure before, but that in my case she would prefer to keep me in the hospital at least two days.
She put me on birth control pills that I am to take continuously until surgery, because she is concerned about my anemia and said she would prefer to not have to do a transfusion during or after surgery. She also doubled my dose of iron, which, if you’ve ever taken iron…you know…I’m not very happy about it.
She also informed me that she is fairly certain that I’m not ovulating at all, which explains my slight weight gain, and pimples that have popped up on my face like a girl going through puberty. She said the birth control pills will make that stop. Someday…someone is going to figure out how estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone REALLY work…and we’re all going to be thin and beautiful with perfect skin. In the meantime…I’ll just have to deal with my fat ass and acne.
Finally, we discussed pregnancy. She broke it down into the simplest terms. If I plan to have any more children…I’ve got a window of about 5-6 years. Since I had my tubes tied, she said that I can expect to require in-vitro fertilization, because it’s simpler than trying to repair the fallopian tubes. I can reasonably expect to successfully carry twins to term, but more than two babies and my chances for uterine rupture increase from 10% to more than 30%. After three c-sections, and the upcoming surgery, any future pregnancy would end in yet another c-section, and likely no further pregnancies. So, ultimately, if I want to have any more babies…it’s a one-shot deal.
She did make a couple of suggestions “off the record.” She said if I traveled to another country that has socialized medicine, that I could have in-vitro done for far less than the $10-12,000 it costs here. The same goes for a sperm donor…if it comes to that. So yeah, I’m gonna go to Brazil and have myself a Brazilian baby….in a few years or so. haha
Anyway, now that she’s put me on birth control…the smoking issue is more important than ever. The risk of stroke or heart attack is super high if I smoke while on the pill, so…I’m done. Tomorrow.
I’ve got a little over six weeks to get myself physically and emotionally ready for this surgery. I can’t change my mind about it, because the problems that I’ve been having have reached a point where I can’t put off surgery any longer. After surgery, I’ll still have to deal with the anovulation, and the possibility of having to take birth control pills for an extended period of time until my body agrees to cooperate.
Now that the surgery is scheduled, I’d like to put it out of my mind for a while, but I seem to have an issue with putting anything out of my mind lately. I have, however, found that if I help others around me deal with their problems, I tend to forget about my own for a while. So, I’ve been focusing my attention on a friend with a broken heart…and it keeps me from thinking about mine. Avoidance. *sighs*
I’ve recently come to the conclusion that my need to love is greater than my need to be loved. I don’t know if it’s a woman thing, the ‘caretaker’ mentality, or if it’s just another way that I’m not quite right. Anyway, basically what it means is that I continue to love people even when they don’t love me. I can look back over the last fifteen years or so and see the pattern repeated over and over. I have continued to love each one of my exes far past the end of the relationship. (With one or two exceptions.)
I’m sure I had something else I wanted to write about, but it has escaped me, so I’ll have to edit later, or just write about it tomorrow. Tomorrow…Friday. Thank God.
