More unanswered questions…and bad news/good news

So yesterday afternoon at just after 4:30, the prodigal boyfriend came online. If I said I was shocked, that would be an understatement. I honestly thought that he had performed his final disappearing act and that I was going to be left scratching my head for a long time about it.

I still have no idea what happened, because I didn’t ask. I don’t know where he’s been or why he hasn’t talked to me, because I didn’t ask. It’s not that I don’t want to know, it’s that I’m a little afraid of what the answer might be. Also, I’m not sure if he’s going to be sticking around, and I saw no reason to muddy up a decent conversation with questions that might annoy him, and answers that might hurt me.

He did come back today, so that’s two times I’ve talked to him in as many days, but I still find myself pretty reluctant to even hope he’s planning to keep coming around. I don’t know what to expect, and I suppose I feel a little like he’s not going to be around for very long, so I don’t want to rock the boat for the time that he’s here.

Also, there’s the whole He’s been gone so long that I was sure it was over and I’ve been referring to myself as his ex-girlfriend thing. And the He’s been gone so long that I’ve already felt my heart shatter into a million pieces, cried my eyes out, missed him so much I felt like I was suffocating, and then made myself get over it thing. I made myself deal with the fact that he wasn’t ever coming back, so now that he’s back I feel a little strange.

Am I repeating myself? I probably am. I’m just so confused by this. I’m just as confused by him coming back as I was by him leaving in the first place. 

Moving right along…I finally heard from my brother. He wrote me a short message on MySpace:

“hey sis you look good, how have you been?”

…and that was it. To tell the truth, my brother’s not a wordy type of guy, so I can’t complain about the length of the message. The fact that he wrote me at all is reason to take off my shoes and dance on my desk. I wrote him back asking if he’d like to meet me for lunch or dinner some time, but he hasn’t been back on MySpace since I sent the message. This turtles-pace thing is something I guess I will just have to get used to.

My computer finally died. There’s no fixing it this time. My CPU fan went out, and apparently either my CPU or mobo got overheated…and it’s truly funeral time for my faithful old computer. The down side to this is that I haven’t had a computer since Friday night, and that when I want to check email (or MySpace messages), I have to ask my roommate if I can use her computer for a few minutes…which doesn’t always go over very well.

There is an up side though. I’ve been getting more sleep, because without the distraction of the computer to keep me awake, I’ve been going to bed a lot earlier. I’ve spent more time reading (books), which is something I love to do…but rarely do when I have a computer around because I’m too busy reading news, gossip, email, and blogs. I’m also finally caught up on all my laundry.

There’s an older computer that sits in the file room in my office that has been there as long as I have, so I asked my boss today about buying it. He said he’d find out, but he was pretty sure they could just give it to me. It’s nothing special, but it’s better than what I’ve got right now.

I like good news.